Last Summer as a Teenager

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                                                 July 18, 2024

     Summer is my favorite season, despite the Philippines feeling like it's at the center of a fiery inferno during these months. What I picture out when summer approaches is me having the best day of my life on a beach with my people, carelessly enjoying every moment. I don't mind my skin getting sunburnt and dry with the salt air or my hair becoming a nest of sand – it's all part of the experience.

     Summer also means spending a week or two in my mother's hometown, the province of Guimaras. It's my home away from home, my therapy when life feels overwhelming and my mind resembles a tangled ball of string. In Guimaras, it's as if my life resets, and I become a different person— lighter, freer, more in tune with nature and myself.

     Every year, I only get one chance to spend my long vacation there during our summer break, and this time feels different. Having good alone time surrounded by nature has made me ponder: when will I feel this again? Because the moment I return to the city, my life will shift dramatically as I enter on a new chapter— college. It's another reset, but one tinged with uncertainty and anticipation.

     The truth is, I want to be forever young. I would never trade my high school memories and experiences, my youth, my teenage phase. I wish it could last longer, stretch out indefinitely like the horizon meeting the sea, but that's not how life works. Time marches on, pulling us forward whether we're ready or not. As Sir Depol said "We never really know when we are ready".

     Entering college stirs a mixed of emotions within me – anxiety, excitement, happiness, and a touch of sadness. It feels like I'm a 7-year-old girl again, stepping into a room full of strangers, tasked with making new friends and adjusting to an unfamiliar environment. Now, I'm more particular about the company I keep, wary of wasting my energy on superficial connections. This selectiveness adds another layer of complexity to the social aspects of college life.

     To wrap this up, writing this serves one purpose: to express my thoughts as a girl on the cusp of a new journey and to lighten the heaviness in my heart. Putting these words feels like a reassuring pat on the back, whispering that everything will be okay. It's alright to feel a little scared because soon, things will become clearer. One quote that really associate me with this is 'If you pray for flowers don't be surprise if it starts to rain'.

     As I stand on this threshold between youth and adulthood, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the salt-tinged air of my beloved Guimaras. I'm ready to dive into the unknown waters of college life, carrying with me the warmth of my summer memories and the strength of my roots. The future may be uncertain, but it's also full of promise— a new adventure waiting to unfold.